Thursday, September 26, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
~~<>~~THE DEVIOUS TACTICS OF A CONTROL-ADDICTED MAN ~~<>~~
"Floyd's" underhanded scheme to abscond with my daughter (A.K.A. his property) has been in the works for years. When his attempt at abduction via fraud and perjury failed, he started working on a new plan: To systematically destroy me and discredit me in order to "legitimately" win custody. Doing so will better enable him to legally remove her from the country.
Since he can't start making up lies about me being abusive, he is attempting to sway the family court to his side by personally destroying my life. He has been doing this by wearing me down financially and emotionally. Like he keeps saying, "You have no idea what I'm capable of!"
Oh yes I do.
Alienation of friends and family:
Some time after Ava was returned to us in 2011, I noticed that many of my friends started drifting away. I say drifting, but some of them got quiet rather abruptly....and at the same time. I tried chalking it up to me being overly worried, but it kept getting more and more apparent. Eventually, many of them would only respond to messages with short, distant replies or would not respond at all. I tried asking outright on Facebook if anyone had been contacted about me.....by anyone at all. Nobody would say a thing. No denials and no affirmations. I considered that maybe they were just tired of hearing about all my drama. I was, however, worried that they would think I was milking Ava's situation for attention, so I kept silent for months at a time. Doing so made me feel more and more isolated, but I couldn't handle the feelings of rejection, and it hurt me to think about what someone associated with Floyd might have been telling them. Had they presented any such information to me, I would have gladly explained that he and those helping him were just being ruthless and evil in their attempts to achieve their goal. I have tried thinking of what types of things I, myself, would need to hear in order to stop speaking to my friends. I guess I would hesitate to trust them if I had been told they were saying really shitty things about me. If presented with evidence, I'd be even more upset. If I found out they were abusing animals and/or children I probably wouldn't be too fond of them either, but I like to think that, before ditching them, I would give them the benefit of the doubt and let them know what I'd been hearing. My over-active imagination as of late has come up with many scenarios, usually involving someone impersonating me. It's very easy over the internet. One can create a Facebook profile using another person's info and photo and take screen shots of fake conversations. I've read some warnings about this sort of thing lately. So, if any of my friends are reading this, I hope they will come to me with whatever reasons they have for distancing themselves over the past couple years. If it is merely because I'm an annoying person, I'll accept that. If it is indeed because someone else has been "talking shit" behind closed internet doors, I deserve a chance to defend myself. I have no doubt that Floyd and his minions have been systematically driving people away from me....some of them were family members. One example: A close relative and I had been regularly discussing her new job and her recent health issues earlier this year. I contacted her one of those days to find out how her scheduled tests had gone and to see if they had given her an exact diagnosis yet. She wouldn't reply. I tried a few more times to reach her, to no avail. She would not answer. Up to that point she had been eagerly telling me about that new job she loved so much, and had been quick to keep me updated about her medical situation. Then suddenly nothing. And no....I had said nothing negative or even remotely upsetting to her. Another family member verified that she was fine, so it's not like she had fallen off the earth or anything. He had no idea why she had cut off ties with me. Then, a week or so later, Floyd, while on one of his "This is war and you can't win!!" rants, blurted out that he had yet another of my family members on "his team" and that there was nothing I could do. "I have all the power!" he said. He said that often, but each time he felt more and more empowered, he would remind me of that and what he is "capable of".
Interfering with my livelihood:
Imagine that after more than two decades of working in the same profession and never having trouble finding or keeping employment, you suddenly can't get anyone to hire you. This would render you helpless. Regardless of my experience and strong work history, while in Washington this year, I could not get a job. I had been trying from January (when my WA nursing license was renewed) to August. Sometimes, after I had applied, I would continue to see the job ads for a certain place. Why didn't they give me a call? I more than met the qualifications. I have more experience than most. It didn't make sense. As a test, I finally applied at a place far far away. They called me immediately. It was a location that nobody would expect me to apply in. Am I paranoid? Maybe, but I don't believe so. I truly believe that Floyd or someone on his "team" has been (likely anonymously or posing as someone else) warning people not to hire me. Also, during one of his proud rants about how almighty powerful he was, he did give me hints that something had been done along this line. Also, from January to August, he repeatedly threatened to put me in the street if I didn't pay him half the rent. He wanted me broke and in the street so he could get custody of Ava. He knew I'd have to either be homeless in Washington or go back home to Pennsylvania. And he had his "power" in the order preventing Ava from leaving the state with me. With the help of the "X" County family court in WA, he kept Ava and me in an impossible situation. He did eventually put me (and Ava, though he didn't plan that part) in the street. In August he terminated his lease without telling me. I wrote more about that here: Why We Left.
"Conflicting out" local attorneys who specialize in international abduction and/or interstate child custody:
This tactic was unknown to me until I started hearing "We can't take your case. Conflict of interest." from lawyers. It's an increasingly common tactic among parents who "play dirty" in custody disputes. Google "conflicting out divorce lawyers" and you'll find plenty of information.
Emotional warfare:
I have been battling for one thing only. The protection and happiness of Ava. It hasn't been easy. Getting her back after the abduction was only the beginning of this hell. I have grown more and more distraught every month. I have anxiety that sometimes feels like it will stop my heart. Sometimes, in extremely stressful situations, I can't even inhale....like my throat is closing. Some days I feel like any minute I will just stop functioning altogether. This is what he hoped for! He wants me weak and powerless. If any person who is helping Floyd with his power-hungry feast upon my daughter is reading this, I want you to know that what you're doing is beyond cruel....because, in the end, it is Ava who will suffer most. She lives in constant fear of losing me. She lives in fear of even having visits with that man. She becomes physically ill when faced with having to see him. I wish like crazy it wasn't like this. I wish he could be a normal, loving parent. I tried giving him more credit than he deserved for many years. I tried believing that he would change as she got older. I never denied him access to her, even for very long visits--months long (though I was present, and he was completely fine with that). I never denied him phone calls. The one thing I did not do was stay with him all those years ago. To stay with a man who was smacking and back-handing my small child and had taken up daily screaming fits and constantly threatening us (and who had treated my son worse than dirt on a shoe) would have not only been neglectful of me, it would have made me an accomplice to his abuse. So, whatever you do, do not suggest to me that I shouldn't have left. Even since we ended up stuck back in Washington with him recently, after being gone for years, I patronized him, kissed his ass, urged him to get to the doctor when he didn't feel well, and tried doing things that would make him treat us better....like having friendly discussions with him about everyday things, baking muffins every morning to go with his coffee, making sure his laundry was perfectly folded, etc. I can't explain how sickening it felt to know I had to be so nice to a controlling man who had cruelly conspired behind my back to steal my child. Also, I have always encouraged Ava to give him attention and respect even though it sent confusing messages to her. She became old enough to question why she had to be nice to someone who treated her so badly, but I cannot honestly discuss it with her, lest I be accused of "parental alienation".....which is one of those legitimate concerns that gets abused by some bad parents and their attorneys. But do not accuse me of alienating her from her father.....not when I have been doing just the opposite. Now that she's almost nine years old, she has learned on her own to "kiss ass" for self-preservation. She has even explained this to me in her own words. She has even reminded me that I, myself, need to keep up a facade. "We need to keep kissing his butt for now, Mama." How sad that a girl of her age (or any female of any age) feels that they have to coddle an abusive man. For far too long, she has lived with his threats to get rid of me and move her overseas, but she is a fighter, and the thought of being separated from me is unbearable for her. We've never lived apart. And I do not want to think about the abuse she would suffer outside this country. Nestled safely in his own culture, Floyd would have nothing restraining his fury. It is precisely this that prevents me from waiving the white flag!
Monday, September 16, 2013
~~<>Why We Left WA (and came back home)~~<>~~
Floyd, like many abusive men, is addicted to control. He must control the females in his household on every level. After driving me into poverty via his abuse of the court system, I felt forced to move back in with him. Money was not the only factor. The main reason was the protection of Ava. I had learned from my attorney that, not only would it be pretty much impossible to get supervised visitation ordered in the final decree, but Floyd would likely end up with full summer visits as well (since we lived across the country). Those visits would have been devastating to Ava. She has never lived apart from me for any length of time, and she would not fair well when put through weeks and weeks of emotional and physical abuse from her father. Without me around to protect her from his tantrums and violent outbursts, she would be extremely vulnerable. Without me around to counter his emotional abuse with consistent affection and encouragement, her spirit would be crushed. Without me there to monitor his physically violent outbursts, she would be backhanded all over her body. And then there was the ever-looming threat of international abduction. He was determined to raise her overseas and force her to convert to his religion. He was driven to do it. He still is....he fears an eternity in hell if he doesn't do this, as it is his religious duty. Given his history of court fraud and abduction, and his shady "lost passport" scheme, the risk was high. I, therefore, agreed to those awful, soul-sickening extended visits. Twice we were threatened into staying longer than the summer, and, this last time, we were stuck there long enough for him to seek a court order preventing us from leaving. He would threaten immediate court action if we went back home to Pennsylvania. Knowing that I faced self-representation (I needed much time to save enough money for another attorney retainer), and also fearing those imminent court-ordered summer visits for Ava without me, I was bamboozled into staying longer than we should have.
At precisely 6 months--the time necessary for Washington jurisdiction to kick in--he served me with custody papers which restrained me from taking her out of the state. He had known we planned to leave in January, and had even repeatedly said it was fine. He had insisted that if we stayed until after the holidays that he would be fine with us leaving. He also insisted that he had been putting in applications out east for gas drilling jobs. He even had me submit his resume to some of those places for him. He kept saying he hated his current job and wanted to leave Washington. He also kept saying that he needed to be in the western U.S. because it would be tremendously easier for his aging parents to fly to him for visits. Other times, he mentioned leaving the U.S. altogether so he could have an easy life working for his rich friend. But, as I said, he ended up serving me with papers forcing us to stay put. This was a huge "control buzz" for him. He was in hog heaven. The occasional outbursts we had tolerated over the previous 6 months turned into a daily onslaught of hellish behavior from him. We were not allowed to go for walks or run errands without obtaining permission. I was not allowed to speak on the phone with anyone--not even my son. I did so only when he was at work. I was most definitely not allowed to have contact with anyone in the area. Even during the first 6 months of the visit, he had prevented this, but now he made no bones about it--I was not to be around anyone or join any groups. Making local friends and/or acquaintances might empower me, and he would not tolerate that. He also consistently threatened me into not reporting his abusive behavior, by assuring me that I would look like a trouble maker. A family court commissioner had dismissed the first case (from January) that I had reported, and he took great pride in that. Even his lawyer had shoved that in my face in the court room by childishly doing the "pulled-down fist-elbow" gesture and saying "Yes!" like a teenager who had succeeded in getting the car keys back. I feared losing custody completely if they succeeded in making me look like a repeated trouble maker, especially since I had pretty much been spat on by the court in that county. I felt like it was absolutely futile to ever report him again. It didn't help that he kept telling me his lawyer "knew" people in the police department and (supposedly) had informed them that I, not him, was the problem.
His emotional abuse of Ava became more and more frequent. He often called her a "loser" or screamed, "Why are you so stupid?" or he would say, "Something is wrong with you!" and then look at me and say, "Something is definitely wrong with her! She is not normal!"....and he said those things for no reason other than Ava acting sad. He told her she would end up working at McDonald's because she is a dummy. If he asked her a math question and she didn't answer fast enough, he'd say, "You are not a good student!" and then say to me, "She's a terrible student! You lied. She's not a good student at all." He would bring home candy and bribe her to give him affection. He kissed her with an open mouth and did so all over her neck, face and mouth. He calls those "slurpies". She hated it. She withdrew in refusal and he would always say, "What? Don't you love your papa?" He got angry with her when he caught her giving me affection. With the bribes no longer working (she was getting older and more "creeped out" by it), he started threatening her by telling her he would kick her mother out of the apartment if she didn't do what he wanted. Those threats caused her so much fear that she would sometimes throw herself on the bed and cry, "Wake me up! This can't be real. This has to be a bad dream! Why is this happening? It can't be real!" I kept consoling her and promising her we would get this all fixed and everything would end up okay. He also begged her and threatened her to sleep with him at night (she always slept with me there). She would promise to do so, but at bedtime she would run to me. He would sometimes come into our room in the middle of the night and carry her to his bed. She always woke up and ran back to me. She did, however, play with him sometimes, when he threatened her because she was in constant fear of me getting kicked out. He often took photos during these play times, so he could prove that they were "close" and to make himself look like a great, attentive father.
In July, he had one of his big meltdowns over an unauthorized walk. I recorded it. I wrote about it here: A Sampling of Floyd's Abusive Behavior When he realized that I had indeed recorded that phone call (he thought I wasn't seriously going to), he went bonkers. He kept us inside and closely monitored. This was when I first got in touch with the local domestic violence people. Through them, I received legal advice from legal aid. I also started going to weekly DV support group meetings and got Ava into therapy (I had previously thought I wasn't allowed to do so).
Suddenly Ava and I were busy. Floyd's radar sounded an alarm. He was not pleased, and demanded to know where we had been on August 8th. We had just returned from our first DV group meeting. I only told him that we'd had an appointment. This is what set off the chain of events that ended up in his arrest a little while later. I won't go into the details here, but before he was finished with his rage, he blew a gasket and threatened to kill us. As in, he had me by the arms, slamming me into the counter, and I asked, "What? Are you going to kill me?" and he replied, "Both of you!" Ava was screaming, she and I ran out the door (she continued screaming), and he panicked. He called the police because, I assume, he worried that the neighbors would be calling them and he wanted to try to diffuse things before he got in trouble. I think he was going to try to turn on the charm and let them know what a psycho trouble-making woman I was (she's crazy. Even her mother hates her, etc. etc.), so they wouldn't look at him as a perpetrator. After speaking with him and Ava and me, they arrested him. I was amazed out how detailed Ava's recall had been. Under the stress, I wasn't nearly as good at explaining what had happened. Ava, unaware of his arrest, was terrified that he was going to come back in. She screamed at every noise outside the door. I explained to her that they had taken him elsewhere for the night, and she almost cried tears of joy. She kept saying, "Is it over? Is my nightmare over? I feel like I'm waking up! I am, I am waking up! It's over, isn't it?" and on and on.
The next day, I received a call from the landlady telling me that Floyd had put in his notice on August 1st, and had asked her to use his deposit as his last month's rent. She wanted to know if I would be renting the apartment or if I would also be moving out. This was news to me. He had intentionally decided to displace me so I would end up in the street and lose custody completely. Ava and I suddenly needed to find somewhere to live. The DV shelters were nearly always full. Some of the women in my group had been waiting for a space to open for quite some time. I had no people in the area, no job in the area, and wasn't allowed to take Ava out of state? In September we were to become homeless with no school district. I still had our airline tickets from January. They were non-refundable, so I had been changing them over and over while we were stuck there. I made the decision to change them again and fly home. It was either that or live in the street with my daughter.
Ava is now back at home with the people who love her, and back in the school she has been missing so much. She is with her old friends again, and has the security that she was begging to go back to for the last year. If we can't stay, she is doomed to a very grim future and more emotional turmoil than I can stand to think about. With Floyd's threats to cut her throat, her life could end altogether. He intends to win his beloved "war" just as he told me over and over. I just don't know if he intends to follow through with killing her or with his threat to remove her from the country. Either way.....the thought is unbearable. The stress is killing me.
At precisely 6 months--the time necessary for Washington jurisdiction to kick in--he served me with custody papers which restrained me from taking her out of the state. He had known we planned to leave in January, and had even repeatedly said it was fine. He had insisted that if we stayed until after the holidays that he would be fine with us leaving. He also insisted that he had been putting in applications out east for gas drilling jobs. He even had me submit his resume to some of those places for him. He kept saying he hated his current job and wanted to leave Washington. He also kept saying that he needed to be in the western U.S. because it would be tremendously easier for his aging parents to fly to him for visits. Other times, he mentioned leaving the U.S. altogether so he could have an easy life working for his rich friend. But, as I said, he ended up serving me with papers forcing us to stay put. This was a huge "control buzz" for him. He was in hog heaven. The occasional outbursts we had tolerated over the previous 6 months turned into a daily onslaught of hellish behavior from him. We were not allowed to go for walks or run errands without obtaining permission. I was not allowed to speak on the phone with anyone--not even my son. I did so only when he was at work. I was most definitely not allowed to have contact with anyone in the area. Even during the first 6 months of the visit, he had prevented this, but now he made no bones about it--I was not to be around anyone or join any groups. Making local friends and/or acquaintances might empower me, and he would not tolerate that. He also consistently threatened me into not reporting his abusive behavior, by assuring me that I would look like a trouble maker. A family court commissioner had dismissed the first case (from January) that I had reported, and he took great pride in that. Even his lawyer had shoved that in my face in the court room by childishly doing the "pulled-down fist-elbow" gesture and saying "Yes!" like a teenager who had succeeded in getting the car keys back. I feared losing custody completely if they succeeded in making me look like a repeated trouble maker, especially since I had pretty much been spat on by the court in that county. I felt like it was absolutely futile to ever report him again. It didn't help that he kept telling me his lawyer "knew" people in the police department and (supposedly) had informed them that I, not him, was the problem.
His emotional abuse of Ava became more and more frequent. He often called her a "loser" or screamed, "Why are you so stupid?" or he would say, "Something is wrong with you!" and then look at me and say, "Something is definitely wrong with her! She is not normal!"....and he said those things for no reason other than Ava acting sad. He told her she would end up working at McDonald's because she is a dummy. If he asked her a math question and she didn't answer fast enough, he'd say, "You are not a good student!" and then say to me, "She's a terrible student! You lied. She's not a good student at all." He would bring home candy and bribe her to give him affection. He kissed her with an open mouth and did so all over her neck, face and mouth. He calls those "slurpies". She hated it. She withdrew in refusal and he would always say, "What? Don't you love your papa?" He got angry with her when he caught her giving me affection. With the bribes no longer working (she was getting older and more "creeped out" by it), he started threatening her by telling her he would kick her mother out of the apartment if she didn't do what he wanted. Those threats caused her so much fear that she would sometimes throw herself on the bed and cry, "Wake me up! This can't be real. This has to be a bad dream! Why is this happening? It can't be real!" I kept consoling her and promising her we would get this all fixed and everything would end up okay. He also begged her and threatened her to sleep with him at night (she always slept with me there). She would promise to do so, but at bedtime she would run to me. He would sometimes come into our room in the middle of the night and carry her to his bed. She always woke up and ran back to me. She did, however, play with him sometimes, when he threatened her because she was in constant fear of me getting kicked out. He often took photos during these play times, so he could prove that they were "close" and to make himself look like a great, attentive father.
In July, he had one of his big meltdowns over an unauthorized walk. I recorded it. I wrote about it here: A Sampling of Floyd's Abusive Behavior When he realized that I had indeed recorded that phone call (he thought I wasn't seriously going to), he went bonkers. He kept us inside and closely monitored. This was when I first got in touch with the local domestic violence people. Through them, I received legal advice from legal aid. I also started going to weekly DV support group meetings and got Ava into therapy (I had previously thought I wasn't allowed to do so).
Suddenly Ava and I were busy. Floyd's radar sounded an alarm. He was not pleased, and demanded to know where we had been on August 8th. We had just returned from our first DV group meeting. I only told him that we'd had an appointment. This is what set off the chain of events that ended up in his arrest a little while later. I won't go into the details here, but before he was finished with his rage, he blew a gasket and threatened to kill us. As in, he had me by the arms, slamming me into the counter, and I asked, "What? Are you going to kill me?" and he replied, "Both of you!" Ava was screaming, she and I ran out the door (she continued screaming), and he panicked. He called the police because, I assume, he worried that the neighbors would be calling them and he wanted to try to diffuse things before he got in trouble. I think he was going to try to turn on the charm and let them know what a psycho trouble-making woman I was (she's crazy. Even her mother hates her, etc. etc.), so they wouldn't look at him as a perpetrator. After speaking with him and Ava and me, they arrested him. I was amazed out how detailed Ava's recall had been. Under the stress, I wasn't nearly as good at explaining what had happened. Ava, unaware of his arrest, was terrified that he was going to come back in. She screamed at every noise outside the door. I explained to her that they had taken him elsewhere for the night, and she almost cried tears of joy. She kept saying, "Is it over? Is my nightmare over? I feel like I'm waking up! I am, I am waking up! It's over, isn't it?" and on and on.
The next day, I received a call from the landlady telling me that Floyd had put in his notice on August 1st, and had asked her to use his deposit as his last month's rent. She wanted to know if I would be renting the apartment or if I would also be moving out. This was news to me. He had intentionally decided to displace me so I would end up in the street and lose custody completely. Ava and I suddenly needed to find somewhere to live. The DV shelters were nearly always full. Some of the women in my group had been waiting for a space to open for quite some time. I had no people in the area, no job in the area, and wasn't allowed to take Ava out of state? In September we were to become homeless with no school district. I still had our airline tickets from January. They were non-refundable, so I had been changing them over and over while we were stuck there. I made the decision to change them again and fly home. It was either that or live in the street with my daughter.
Ava is now back at home with the people who love her, and back in the school she has been missing so much. She is with her old friends again, and has the security that she was begging to go back to for the last year. If we can't stay, she is doomed to a very grim future and more emotional turmoil than I can stand to think about. With Floyd's threats to cut her throat, her life could end altogether. He intends to win his beloved "war" just as he told me over and over. I just don't know if he intends to follow through with killing her or with his threat to remove her from the country. Either way.....the thought is unbearable. The stress is killing me.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
~<>~ FLOYD'S CREDIBILITY (LACK OF) ~<>~
Floyd has no respect for the laws of the United States. He says that he is not required to obey any laws except those in the Koran.
1. Committed welfare fraud in Washington in 2009 and 2010. Claimed Ava was living with him and collected benefits for her. I have confirmed this. (She has always lived with me, and she and I had been living in Missouri since 2008.)
2. Perjury: Lied to a court in King County, WA in the summer of 2010. Ava and I were in Washington for a short visit because his parents were visiting from overseas. I had agreed to bring Ava for a visit before our move (from Missouri) to Pennsylvania. The day we were to leave, he grabbed Ava and ran out the door with her. We missed our flight. He took her to a lawyer's office. They went to the courthouse in downtown Seattle and obtained an ex parte order that prevented me from removing Ava "from the home". He had told his lawyer and the judge that Ava and I lived with him in Washington. He came back with officers who served me the papers. It was Friday evening by this time, so Ava and I stayed in a hotel for the weekend, and hired an attorney on Monday. She, Ava and I went to the judge and had the order quashed. Both the judge and Floyd's attorney were quite displeased with him. We purchased new flights and flew home the next day to Pennsylvania.
3. Perjury: Filed a divorce/custody case in WA state. Then, without having that case dismissed, he filed one in Missouri. In the Missouri case, he contradicted what he attested in the WA ex parte case by attesting, “Respondent is and has been a resident of the State of Missouri for at least ninety days immediately preceding the filing of this petition.”
Also, in the MO case, he attested that he had no knowledge of any other pending divorce case.
5. Fraudulent service of process: Flew a friend from Seattle to Pennsylvania while he (Floyd) was in PA for an agreed-upon visit with Ava (supervised by me). Took that friend to a notary and had him sign the service of process affidavit saying he (the friend) had served me the Missouri court case papers. I was absolutely never served. Floyd was friendly during the whole visit, and I never suspected a thing. (I have since obtained the boarding passes for this friend.)
6. Colluded (in Oct. 2010) with the co-owner of a motel in Pennsylvania (the one where he was staying in October of 2010 during the visit) to commit mail fraud. This was the motel which was listed (by Floyd) as my personal street address in the MO court papers. He told this woman that she would be helping to rescue his child from a bad situation if she held onto all mail that arrived for me (rather than return it to sender). She did hold onto it. (I met her months later. She kicked me out of her motel as soon as I told her my name. She then immediately returned----to senders----all the mail in my name that she had been holding. Floyd's lawyer testified to this in court in Jan. 2011.)
7. Parental abduction: In January of 2011, Floyd was granted (by default) full custody of Ava in the Missouri court case because I had been completely unaware of its existence and had not shown up in court. He then (same month) came to Pennsylvania in January for another agreed-upon visit. Oblivious to what to the scams he had been pulling behind my back, I agreed to one overnight visit unsupervised. He had been talking for months about moving to PA, and had even spoken of the places he had been checking into for employment. I had been successfully duped. I left him with her at the (same as before) motel one evening, and said I would be back as soon as I got off work the next afternoon. He absconded with her at 4am, telling her they were going on a visit to Minneapolis (why MN, I have no idea) and they flew to his home in Seattle. I found out when I called to tell him I was leaving work and would be picking her up. He, still acting friendly, said, "Don't freak out! There was a work emergency (he was unemployed) and I had to come back right away to work on a project. We'll only be here for 4 days." Naturally, I did freak out, and worked constantly on getting her back--it took 3 weeks, 4 lawyers and a lot of traveling. All three courts (in MO, PA and WA) agreed that I had not been served and that he had fraudulently absconded with her.
Note: I didn't find out about the Missouri decree until the next day (either that or the second day) when "Matt" discovered it online (after much searching)----we had been searching because Floyd had finally blurted out, on the phone, "I have full custody! There's nothing you can do!"
8. Filed a false police report: Filed a police report in Seattle, claiming that "Matt" (my bf) had texted him a death threat. Even after admitting to Matt (during a phone call) that it was untrue, he refused to drop the issue. He (Floyd) even told my Seattle attorney that the reason he was pushing it was because it was the only way he could make himself look like a victim. He did not say, "I'm the victim and I need to show it." he really did say, "It's the only way I can make myself look like a victim."
9. Filed a false police report: Shortly after my daughter was back at home in Pennsylvania, Floyd hired an attorney there and arranged a 24-hour visit. My attorney said we should go along with this to show the court that I was willing to work with the other parent. The agreed-upon arrangement was that Floyd would hand over his (Moroccan) passport to his attorney for the duration of the visit. A couple days before the visit was to take place (in PA), Floyd contacted his attorney to tell him that someone broke into his car and stole his passport, and that he had filed a police report to prove it. His attorney advised him that, without the passport, the visitation would not occur. The passport did miraculously appear before the visit. I believe there is something in his passport that shows his intention of internationally absconding with Ava, either from when he had abducted her or for the 24-hour visit. It seemed very odd to me that he needed that one 24-hour visit with her so quickly after we got her back.....so badly needed it that he hired an attorney and flew across the country to spend one night with her. He had just had her for 3 weeks--it just didn't make sense.
(There is more)
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1. Committed welfare fraud in Washington in 2009 and 2010. Claimed Ava was living with him and collected benefits for her. I have confirmed this. (She has always lived with me, and she and I had been living in Missouri since 2008.)
2. Perjury: Lied to a court in King County, WA in the summer of 2010. Ava and I were in Washington for a short visit because his parents were visiting from overseas. I had agreed to bring Ava for a visit before our move (from Missouri) to Pennsylvania. The day we were to leave, he grabbed Ava and ran out the door with her. We missed our flight. He took her to a lawyer's office. They went to the courthouse in downtown Seattle and obtained an ex parte order that prevented me from removing Ava "from the home". He had told his lawyer and the judge that Ava and I lived with him in Washington. He came back with officers who served me the papers. It was Friday evening by this time, so Ava and I stayed in a hotel for the weekend, and hired an attorney on Monday. She, Ava and I went to the judge and had the order quashed. Both the judge and Floyd's attorney were quite displeased with him. We purchased new flights and flew home the next day to Pennsylvania.
3. Perjury: Filed a divorce/custody case in WA state. Then, without having that case dismissed, he filed one in Missouri. In the Missouri case, he contradicted what he attested in the WA ex parte case by attesting, “Respondent is and has been a resident of the State of Missouri for at least ninety days immediately preceding the filing of this petition.”
Also, in the MO case, he attested that he had no knowledge of any other pending divorce case.
4. Perjury: Filed a custody case in the state of Missouri. Lied to his lawyer and the court by giving them a false address for me and for himself. He provided (in all the documents) my address as being one that actually belonged to a motel in Pennsylvania. This was so I would not receive any mail associated with the case (such as from his attorney).
5. Fraudulent service of process: Flew a friend from Seattle to Pennsylvania while he (Floyd) was in PA for an agreed-upon visit with Ava (supervised by me). Took that friend to a notary and had him sign the service of process affidavit saying he (the friend) had served me the Missouri court case papers. I was absolutely never served. Floyd was friendly during the whole visit, and I never suspected a thing. (I have since obtained the boarding passes for this friend.)
6. Colluded (in Oct. 2010) with the co-owner of a motel in Pennsylvania (the one where he was staying in October of 2010 during the visit) to commit mail fraud. This was the motel which was listed (by Floyd) as my personal street address in the MO court papers. He told this woman that she would be helping to rescue his child from a bad situation if she held onto all mail that arrived for me (rather than return it to sender). She did hold onto it. (I met her months later. She kicked me out of her motel as soon as I told her my name. She then immediately returned----to senders----all the mail in my name that she had been holding. Floyd's lawyer testified to this in court in Jan. 2011.)
7. Parental abduction: In January of 2011, Floyd was granted (by default) full custody of Ava in the Missouri court case because I had been completely unaware of its existence and had not shown up in court. He then (same month) came to Pennsylvania in January for another agreed-upon visit. Oblivious to what to the scams he had been pulling behind my back, I agreed to one overnight visit unsupervised. He had been talking for months about moving to PA, and had even spoken of the places he had been checking into for employment. I had been successfully duped. I left him with her at the (same as before) motel one evening, and said I would be back as soon as I got off work the next afternoon. He absconded with her at 4am, telling her they were going on a visit to Minneapolis (why MN, I have no idea) and they flew to his home in Seattle. I found out when I called to tell him I was leaving work and would be picking her up. He, still acting friendly, said, "Don't freak out! There was a work emergency (he was unemployed) and I had to come back right away to work on a project. We'll only be here for 4 days." Naturally, I did freak out, and worked constantly on getting her back--it took 3 weeks, 4 lawyers and a lot of traveling. All three courts (in MO, PA and WA) agreed that I had not been served and that he had fraudulently absconded with her.
Note: I didn't find out about the Missouri decree until the next day (either that or the second day) when "Matt" discovered it online (after much searching)----we had been searching because Floyd had finally blurted out, on the phone, "I have full custody! There's nothing you can do!"
8. Filed a false police report: Filed a police report in Seattle, claiming that "Matt" (my bf) had texted him a death threat. Even after admitting to Matt (during a phone call) that it was untrue, he refused to drop the issue. He (Floyd) even told my Seattle attorney that the reason he was pushing it was because it was the only way he could make himself look like a victim. He did not say, "I'm the victim and I need to show it." he really did say, "It's the only way I can make myself look like a victim."
9. Filed a false police report: Shortly after my daughter was back at home in Pennsylvania, Floyd hired an attorney there and arranged a 24-hour visit. My attorney said we should go along with this to show the court that I was willing to work with the other parent. The agreed-upon arrangement was that Floyd would hand over his (Moroccan) passport to his attorney for the duration of the visit. A couple days before the visit was to take place (in PA), Floyd contacted his attorney to tell him that someone broke into his car and stole his passport, and that he had filed a police report to prove it. His attorney advised him that, without the passport, the visitation would not occur. The passport did miraculously appear before the visit. I believe there is something in his passport that shows his intention of internationally absconding with Ava, either from when he had abducted her or for the 24-hour visit. It seemed very odd to me that he needed that one 24-hour visit with her so quickly after we got her back.....so badly needed it that he hired an attorney and flew across the country to spend one night with her. He had just had her for 3 weeks--it just didn't make sense.
(There is more)
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
~<>~A Sampling of Floyd's Abusive Behavior~<>~
As with some of my posts, this is a work in progress. May take a few days before I finish.
Note: This is not appropriate for all eyes.
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June 2, 2013
Floyd was fighting with Ava again. They were in the living room, and he repeatedly ordered her to get away from him. She was not being difficult or overly-energetic. She was in a happy mood. He told her "stay the hell away from me." She ran into the bedroom and told me he had hit her hard on her butt.
A few minutes later, he gave her a plate of food he had cooked. She brought it into the bedroom because he had recently told her to stay away from him. He came to the bedroom doorway and commanded her to eat in the other room with him. She said no and tried to shut the door. He got his thumb caught in the door and screamed some cuss words, called her a little shit and ran into his own bedroom. Ava ran after him yelling that she was sorry and asking him if he was okay. He screamed and cussed at her, told her to go to hell and never come near him again. He went into the kitchen and proceeded to tell her what a loser she was.
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July 19th, 2013
On this day, my daughter and I went for an unauthorized walk. We went for walks frequently, especially when Floyd was at work, but this time, we failed to ask for permission. Also, he had finished his first day shift (previously he had been working evenings), and was suffering from sleep deprivation. When Floyd is sleep deprived, he often has a very difficult time keeping his outbursts in check. Anyway, he was napping on the couch this particular day, and we had been tiptoeing around the place trying not to disturb him. It was also a muggy day, and being inside was uncomfortable, so we went for a stroll. (And here I am trying to justifying something as benign as a walk. This "need to justify" has become a typical trait of mine lately.) When we returned to the apartment, he was gone, but he called to see if we were back. Below is the transcript from that call. At one point (before the transcribed conversation begins), I told him to calm down or I was going to record his call. His reply was "F*** you!"....so I located the record button on my phone.
I have omitted my name from this transcript (though he yelled it many times).
(He said all this in a SHOUTING, FURIOUS voice.)
(He said all this in a SHOUTING, FURIOUS voice.)
What the sh** you doing?! You don't take my daughter out there and go! You wanna go do your shit, go by yourself! Leave her home! I don't give a SH** if you spread your legs for the whole entire city! I don't care! But I've been there! Listen!! I don't want you to take my daughter around OTHER MEN!!
Me: What men?
WHAT man? Listen. F*** you, you f*****g s****y... LIAR!! You...you...listen!! I'll so F*** YOU!! Listen, I will SC*** YOUR A**! I will f*** you BIG TIME!! Remember this!! REMEMBER this!! I will show you WHO I AM!! What I'm capab...What I am CAPABLE of!! I'll show you. You [something] my phone calls and you
Me: What? [something]
You are gonna lie one of these lies no matter what I say, I saw and I KNOW!
Me: Who is the person?
Yeah, you want me to describe how big his D*** is?! Yeah, is that [unintelligible] what..what you want me to say? [unintelligible]
Me: We weren't with ANYbody.
Listen. Listen. I know you. I know you! You're not gonna pull this shit on me now. I know you. Well, I'll F*** YOUR A** big TIME! I will show you who I AM!! I'll show you! Okay? You're ON! Now the war is ON!
Me: I know, you've told me before.
I'm not gonna kill you! I'm not stupid! I don't kill anybody. I don't kill anybody. I'm not stupid. I wouldn't waste my life on you.
Listen. You wanna do your shit, go. Don't take my daughter WITH you. How many times? You're a f*****g w****! I know that!
Listen. You wanna do your shit, go. Don't take my daughter WITH you. How many times? You're a f*****g w****! I know that!
[Audio breaks up off and on....he starts questioning why I have more than 5 dollars in my possession and so on]
Listen. I KNOW what your plans are!! I know!! I KNOW what you're trying to do! You know what? I'm not stupid! I also have a lawyer who gives me advice and recommendations!
Me: What you're doing. She needs to advise you.
[Pause] Yeah. Well, I know. I know. I'm gonna....I'm gonna surprise your ass big time. I'll show you. The war is on, okay?
This went on for around 6 minutes, so I won't post the entire "conversation." It is just more of the same. It is available on request though.
Here is what I wrote that night:
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JULY 20th and 21st, 2013
This is what I wrote July 20th:
Called DV hotline.
Asked for an email address since I can't speak openly. They only do this over the phone, so they suggested I call back when I can get away or during the night while he sleeps.
He still won't let me take her out of the apartment. He is watching Muslim speeches online in the living room and also reading from his "Holy" book and doing his praying. He is in full Muslim garb today. Whenever I step out of the bedroom (for a drink or to use the bathroom), he walks up to me and calls me a slut or verbally reminds me that I have no power over him.
(I'll be adding another call transcript here as soon as I finish typing it.)
****While my son was living with Floyd, Ava and me, Floyd put him through hell. It was during that time also that Floyd started smacking Ava (she was no longer an infant), and that all led to us leaving him. My son (now an adult) will be writing about his experiences with Floyd, and I will post it in this area.****
(I'll be adding another call transcript here as soon as I finish typing it.)
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July 31, 2013
Floyd lost his temper and went into another rage. He first got angry in the kitchen because Ava had been wearing a cross necklace hidden in her shirt. His rage was directed at me. He grabbed me by my upper arms and tried to shake me. I got loose and turned to walk out of the kitchen. He pushed me while shouting “shitty ass!” and I sort of rammed into the edge of the counter. I then did leave. He came into Ava's room where I was sitting on the bed and leaned down into my face, screaming at me. He had his fist up and pulled back, as he always does in his rages. Told me to “go to hell! You shitty mother fucker! I hate you! Leave my house! Get the shit out of my house NOW! I’m not having any mercy on you! You are about to see what I can do! Tell your daughter good-bye because you’ll never see her again! You’ll SEE what I’m going to do, you shitty worthless bitch! I hate you! I hate you you shitty ass!” Ava saw the bedroom scene--she had been sitting next to me on the bed.
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****I will be posting about not-so-recent incidents in this area.****
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****I will be posting about not-so-recent incidents in this area.****
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Monday, September 2, 2013
~~<>~~FLOYD THUMBS HIS NOSE AT THE LAW (Again)~~<>~~
August 2013
After the No-Contact Order was in effect, Floyd continued to live at the apartment we shared (though he was not supposed to be there without a police standby), demonstrating (yet again) that he can get away with pretty much whatever he wants in the U.S. justice system. He told me several times in July and August that he has "all the power" and that I'm going to see what he is capable of. He kept reminding me that his lawyer "knows people" in the county. When I asked "Which people are you talking about?" he always replied, "You will see."
The August Timeline:
Aug. 9th--NCO ordered.
Aug. 10th and 11th--I stop by apartment to grab some more of our things. I was in and out quickly, so I only able to grabbed a few necessities.
Aug. 14th--I was locked out of the apartment. There are 3 locks on the door (one in the knob and two deadbolts), and I had never had a key for one of the deadbolts. All 3 locks were locked this day.
----(NOT providing me with the 3rd key had been one of Floyd's ways to control me over the past year. He loved having the ability to lock me out, and he did so during the times he was in "power-hungry" moods.)
---- I had stopped by to pick up more things because I hadn't been able to grab much over the weekend. This was the first day I had been able to borrow a vehicle for picking stuff up.
----I went to the (city) police station to report that he had violated the NCO. They decided it was a grey area because he could have sent someone else to lock the deadbolts. I received an incident number (or whatever it's called).
Aug. 16th--Able to get in. Ava and I ate lunch while we were there. When we finished, we wiped down the coffee table (where we had been eating) and left with more things.
Aug 17th--We went back to finish up. Floyd had left a note on the white board (about the vacuum cleaner) and a very large clean butcher knife on the coffee table. Ava noticed the knife right away.
Aug 30th--I had received an email from the landlady earlier in the week. She said Floyd would be completely moved out of the apartment by Thursday August 29th, and that he would not be there at all on Friday. So, this day, Friday the 30th, we dropped by to see if Ava's book collection was still there. Floyd parked in the other parking lot and waited for us. I saw legs quickly descending the stairs. I was startled, so I hesitated, and suddenly he was at the bottom, right in front of me. He looked at me and made a throat slitting motion on himself with an "invisible knife". Ava and I ran back to the truck and drove off. Floyd had gone the other direction, to the other parking lot. When we were driving off, Floyd (who had obviously gotten in his car) pulled into the entryway of the parking lot. It appeared he was trying to block us in (why else would he drive around to that lot and stop there?), but we got through. He followed us a few blocks on the road, but that was all.
In general: How did he manage to move all of his belongings out of the apartment if he wasn't supposed to be there? Why did he tell the landlady he would be finished on Thursday and wouldn't be around at all on Friday....if he wasn't supposed to be there at all without a standby?
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Like he has been telling me over and over all summer, "I have all the power! This is WAR!!" He really intends to see his grand plan through to the end.
~<>~Meet the man who babysat my daughter most of the time during her 3-week abduction.~<>~
This is Khalid. He is a radical Muslim who is so bat-shit crazy that he was banned from all the mosques in and around Seattle (or so I have been told). He is a friend of my daughter's birth father ("Floyd").
When Floyd perpetrated court fraud and service of process fraud in 2010 and 2011, he snatched Ava from our home state of Pennsylvania and fled to his home in Seattle.
Floyd was quite unhappy that he could not leave Ava in a daycare (because she kept telling everyone to call 911). He also did not enroll her in school (though she had been attending Kindergarten in Pennsylvania) because he had intended to relocate her overseas as soon as he got his paperwork in order.
Anyway, he was forced to leave her with this scary man while he ran his mysterious errands and did his "coffee shop internet activities" -- he preferred doing most of his internet use away from his own home, even though he had his own IP. He has done this for many years.
It breaks my heart to hear her talk about Khalid. She was forced to go there and take naps with Khalid while Floyd ran around doing who-knows-what. Floyd was unemployed and on welfare and living in government housing, so he sure wasn't going to work. He was finished with college, so he wasn't going there. I believe that part of the answer to his whereabouts during those weeks lies inside his oh-so-secret passport and his heavy backpack of secret papers that he carries everywhere -- even to the bathroom. (Unfortunately, the family court commissioner in "X" County, Washington who last saw us in court didn't think it was necessary to see his passport....despite his shady kidnapping history.)
Ava is only able to draw and write about her experiences in bits and pieces because it forces her to go back to uncomfortable places. Occasionally, however, she wants to express her feelings this way.
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